In the midst of our culture today, it's hard to believe that there are truly lasting relationships out there. Looking at all the trashy, unrealistic shows on TV, relationship "tips" in Cosmo, and any other form of media we are fed daily, how in the world are healthy relationships really supposed to exist? Just like many of you have probably experienced, I've had to watch too many of my friends end up in unhealthy relationships where they've "settled" for much less than they deserve. When we look from the outside into their relationship, it seems so obvious that something just isn't quite right.
I believe it starts with the condition of that individuals heart. Our culture today is constantly trying to tell us what we "should" look like, dress like, be like, and act like. The problem with all of this is that we are basing this off of some random Hollywood stars opinions. So many of us don't understand that when you truly push aside all the garbage this culture feeds us, there is something incredibly beautiful waiting to be exposed. The undeniable beauty of selflessness. The reason so many relationships start out exciting and rewarding, but soon after end up fizzling out is because it was built on selfishness in the first place. What we really need is a paradigm shift. Instead of focusing on all the things we can gain ourselves out of a relationship with another, we need to start focusing first on becoming the right person ourselves.
I am fully persuaded that until we learn to love ourselves and understand how much we are truly worth, we are not able to carry out a healthy relationship. We constantly obsess over another to fill the void in our lives just to try and obtain our own satisfaction. But if we can actually gain a full understanding that God has created us to be in a completely fulfilling relationship with Him, we soon find that He is absolutely CRAZY about us! I believe we are all created with a God-sized hole in our hearts, and when we allow Him to fill that hole, we can find ourselves made complete. This doesn't mean allowing Him to have only a certain part of your heart, but fully surrendering every aspect of our lives to Him. He created us, therefore those desires that we long for deep down in our hearts, like those desires of a lasting relationship, He wants to give that to us. When we don't know our own worth, we settle for the next person that comes along and shows us even just a bit of positive attention. But God has a bigger plan. One more beautiful than you could even fathom! So instead of focusing all your time on "finding" the right person, allow God to transform you into "becoming" the right person.
Even if we don't understand it in that moment, and it seems like the only advice we hear people say is, "Be patient." There is so much truth in that. Just like a wonderfully written book or a beautiful painting, we don't rush and settle just to finish it. Instead we are patient with taking our time to finish it, picky with each word or color we use, because we know the finished product will be worth it. If we start to realize that our lives our a beautiful masterpiece that God is still creating, the journey to becoming the right person doesn't seem so unattainable after all.
Where ever you may be in your life today, I promise you that if you allow Him, God will show you what your true worth really is. Forget what the world is trying to tell you. Find your worth in what God thinks of you. Then you will truly be able to be selfless in a relationship. And when two people are focused on serving one another instead of themselves, then we can finally see a beautiful, healthy relationship unfold.